The good thing about writing a blog is that it allows me to have a certain amount of freedom, I’m not reporting the news here, rather, I am simply offering my own opinions and ideas, none of which are infallible and are subject to questioning and criticism. I don’t feel the need to write from a neutral or unbiased perspective and I am free to draw from my own experiences. This is what I’m about to do, so before continuing, please understand that this post simply reflects my own personal ideas and/or beliefs and I invite others to add their input whether it be contradictory to, or in agreement with my views.
Just like everyone else in the world (or so it seems), I often use social media these days, in part to stay in touch with those I might otherwise be unable and in part to impart my many wisdoms (or otherwise) upon those who haven’t already, long since deleted me for doing so. To this end I follow a number of Facebook ‘pages’ relating to my interests including the fairly standard video gaming and football related pages to the more political religious, atheist and (anti)Feminist pages.
For quite a while now I have commented and shared stories from one such anti-feminist page by the name of ‘Exposing Feminism‘: an anti-Feminism and Men’s rights page which, by it’s own description claims to be “Bringing to light examples of Feminist bigotry and anti-male double standards” and for the most part has done a reasonable job of this which is why I’ve followed and interacted with the page on a regular basis, often involving myself in discussions about Feminist hypocrisy and Male bashing.
Exposing Feminism has been, for me at least, a good source of news stories and interesting debate relating to Feminism, everything you could really want from a Facebook page on the subject, until, that is, the day I dared to express an alternative point of view.
In recent months there has been, in my humble opinion at least, a shift in the nature of the Exposing Feminism community which seemed to become more apparent since one of the main moderators went on hiatus. The usual focus on anti-Feminism has been slowly edging (ever so slightly) towards misogyny instead. Often I’d be reading through the comments section of a news story or article and where before I’d see people slamming “typical Feminists” there would suddenly be the occasional “typical Women” comment instead, a subtle change which wasn’t entirely lost on me but which I put down to the fact that it’s an open group and will invariably suck in the odd extremist or troll.
Sadly, the change didn’t end there, more and more often the site has posted articles, videos and opinions which seemed far less level headed than in previous times, and this is where my short story begins.
Over this weekend a couple of posts on the Exposing Feminism page caught my attention, or to be more accurate, my Wife’s attention as she saw and posted on them before, as you can probably imagine, my Wife and I share many similar views including our views on Feminism and distaste for what it has become. She has recently been more active and vocal on the subject and has been following Exposing Feminism to keep up with the latest crazy Feminist antics.
The first post that she replied to this weekend was a poll which was simply asking what had led to the groups members becoming anti-Feminist in the first place. The options for this poll had included “A video personality on YouTube, a friend on Twitter, Facebook or Tumblr” and “having a bigoted Mother, Father or family member” and so on, but didn’t include the option of being against feminism simply because of ones own morals and the realisation that it had flawed ideals, as a reply to this, my Wife had simply mentioned that this, or something similar should probably be an option. This suggestion was met with a snarky comment accusing her of thinking she was more intelligent than the chap who had written their questionnaire. This seemed a little off, but wasn’t a big deal until it became clear that it wasn’t an isolated instance of one moderator taking unwarranted offence.
Later the same day my Wife came across the post below, she disagreed with it and was ‘set upon’ by an army of group members full of vitriol and anger at the very idea that there was a dissenting voice in their midst…
Now, call me old fashioned, but I’m not sure I agree here either, as I’ve mentioned before in my article “Why Gender Equality Fails“, Men and Women are not equal, we are, in fact, very different indeed, this is no bad thing of course, we are two halves of a very important equation, halves which simply couldn’t function without the existence of the other, contrary to the ‘politically correct’ Feminist idea that gender is a social construct, gender is natural, we are inherently physiologically different and with good reason.
It is a fact, an uncomfortable fact for some, an inconvenient truth for others, that Men are, for the most part, physically stronger and faster than Women. That’s not to say (of course) that all Men are stronger or faster than all Women, but I think we can all agree that the average Man will have the physical edge over the average Woman. As I mentioned before, my views are open to debate, my ideals and sense of right and wrong come from my life experiences and from how I was raised by my parents. My Mum was quite a traditionalist in this respect and was always pretty adamant that I should never hit a girl unless absolutely necessary and I never have, not once from birth to the ripe old age of 30…something years old have I needed to strike a member of the opposite sex.
This isn’t because I’ve been lucky enough to only ever meet classy and well adjusted ladies who would never consider resorting to fisticuffs in order to resolve an issue, quite the contrary in fact, I grew up on a council estate in Yorkshire where the girls are well known for being as feisty and as short tempered as the Men! I managed to get on their bad side reasonably regularly too! I’ve been punched and kicked in areas which were only meant to be treated nicely, I’ve had lumps of hair pulled out and I once had my head slammed into a school locker (in front of all of my friends I might add), but never did I feel that I was in enough danger to retaliate with violence and I’ve always been lucky enough to diffuse or remove myself from the situation in the end. I realise, of course, that there are situations where very real physical danger becomes an issue, not everyone is built the same and weapons or numbers can play a part and I completely maintain that reasonable measures must be taken to ensure one’s own safety.
But I digress, as I mentioned before, my Wife was first to reply to this and did so by simply explaining her feelings on the issue which are similar to my own, that, while in some cases it might be necessary to fight back in order to escape a potentially dangerous situation, we would suggest that, if it’s possible to avoid physical violence then this would always be preferable and that, in instances where the instigator is a Female and the victim is Male, reasonable force should be used rather than resorting to “ass kicking”, so to speak.
This rather inoffensive opinion was met not only with vitriol and ridicule from a number of members, but with name calling, baiting and bullying from the vast majority of these suddenly ‘triggered‘ posters including a moderator. My Wife was repeatedly referred to as a ‘psychopath’ by one deluded and particularly nasty member while I was labelled a ‘Mangina’ and an ‘idiot’ for suggesting that using reasonable force was…well…reasonable. In response to this, we tried to put across our point time and again without resorting to childish tactics or name-calling (well, I might have, a little bit, addressed one of the main offenders as ‘Rylan’ rather than by his own name, but in my defence he really looked like him!) and we even found one supporter for our cause, who was (naturally) also mercilessly attacked by the other posters for agreeing with us.
Not so moderate moderators
The moderator for the group helpfully chimed in of course, to offer his completely irrelevant and painfully incorrect opinion that my Wife (who had offered nothing by way of personal back story to the group) had obviously led a life of privilege and couldn’t possibly understand what it was like to be abused, he also explained to us how he felt that, regardless of the situation, if a Woman were to get physical with him he felt that it was only right to use enough force to make sure would never mess with him again, which seemed slightly inappropriate but was met, as with all other opinions, with nothing more than our questioning of this stance and why we felt it to be incorrect. I should probably mention that my Wife is a professional who works in this field and has (rather unsurprisingly) never once suggested to people who are being abused that they should probably just “kick the ass” of their abuser, nor, I’d imagine, have any other support work professionals.
Ironically, many of the posters also felt the need to share their own personal experiences of abuse at the hands of Female assailants who also happened to be ex-partners, explaining how they were often accused of violence against these “psychos” (a favourite term apparently) who they were simply, innocently trying to restrain in the face of physical abuse. Odd then that these Men who are so certain that violence is the answer, simultaneously claim never to have taken their own advice.
The final irony here is that this group who stands so firmly against the Feminist ideals appears to have, to some extent, become the thing they profess to hate the most, they now subscribe to the Feminist idea that gender is a social construct and that there is no physical reason for a Man to hold back or refrain from hitting a Woman and of course, they react in the same way as those ‘trigger warning’ happy Feminists as soon as a voice of dissent is heard within their midst, with infantile abuse, accusations of white-knighting and woe-is-me stories of alleged abuse by tyrannical Women to explain why our opinions are oppressing them and if all else fails and thes enasty people won’t stop giving their opinion, resorting to good old-fashioned censorship to resolve the issue. We were, naturally, removed from the group, our posts deleted and the group, complete with those precious, hateful members who shall remain nameless, can go on living in their circle-jerk bubble, fantasizing about “kicking the asses” of the Women who hurt or, let’s face it, have a different opinion to, or reject them in the future.
I’m sure of course, that these people who immediately resort to name-calling, verbal abuse and ridicule as soon as someone questions their ideas are always the innocent victims in their real lives….